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Jailel, may the world teach you the truth.
Love always, Elaine

TIP:

These posts are in chronological order from most recent email to oldest. Start to read from the first post labeled "The Long Journey to Temple Road" and so on from there as they are better understood if read in order.

Death and Taxes

8/11/2019

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​ 
A cup of tea turns cold similar to our inevitable existence someday. I’ve been feeling tense these last couple of weeks. These emotions are like riding passenger to a lead-footed driver without a seatbelt. As if we didn’t know, the world was in a frantic state, as it has been since the days of Babel. Brexit is driving down the European economy. The people of Russia are in a political uproar over Moscow’s legislative voting. Kashmir is the rope in a tug-o-war battle between Pakistan and India. China was siding with Pakistan while the U.S. pledged its allegiance to India as if either of them didn’t have their own messy bedrooms to tend to. Word around the mountain is that the Chinese government won’t recognize the next Dalai Lama born in exile, meaning outside of the Tibetan Autonomous Region. They believe it’s out of tradition and that they’d be choosing the predecessor. As His Holiness gets older, this heart-breaking reality becomes gradually more terrifying, especially since he has been ill these past few months. As for back home in the U.S., most of you are well aware at this point of our demises so I’ll spare the tender re-cap of events. The world is shaking with fear over the unexpected. I am trembling over the unexpected.
​ I'd come to terms with death and its unavoidable rapture of us all. I’m just not accepting to its embrace at this point in my life. I’m not primarily focused on my own life but my friends and family. All take a space in my heart and it is heavy wondering when the moment will be the last one, I’ll hear them, feel them, know their warm presence. When will I know you become, I knew you? Yes, dear reader, I am referring to you.
I have a flight for September 2nd and an undecided court case with ghouls working their magic to release them from their consequences.
I don’t feel safe.
 I feel fetal.
I’m an adult by definition but a short 4 years ago I was under the wing of my parents, entrusting my safety and well-being to them. Today I stand on foreign soil with my wits as weapons. I was exhausted of my case and frankly something doesn’t sit right with me about the law enforcement. Everyone was eager and overwhelmingly willing to protect and serve. Now it seems to be a ghost town and no new information has presented itself of my case. An officer had access to my information and was able to find me without anyone knowing to offer me $7,000 to release his less than civilized brother.
 It makes me question other powers that may be.
I believe in the law of consequence.
I believe in karma and the law of causation.
I do not believe in humanity as harsh as that sounds. We all have our own path where we form our own idea of a suitable life. Using this term again for the 50th time this week but we have intentions, good or bad. We protect ourselves first and then the people and materials that support us. We will do what is necessary to minimize harm to the self. We operate out of convenience.
This is what I believe.
I am well aware that I am generalizing through my perspective and personal experience but tell me how much of my opinion you would disagree with?
 Dear reader, I do not believe you are a selfish person but you and I both have selfish tendencies.
In the context of my case, I believe authorities and civilians involved have their own intentions and will act in any way necessary to protect their livelihood and reputation before my own.
I’m debating abandoning legal action and retracting my case.
Like I said I believe in the laws of karma, its function hasn’t failed in the 23 years I’ve been interacting with it. These men are currently being served cold karma, aching in a horrendous jail cell. How can I be sure the jail was doing them justice? If you’ve ever seen a classic Indian toilet anywhere then you’d might agree. It felt like prison during the investigative process, pure turmoil, so I can only imagine their side. I also had the chance to see a local prison with prisoners inside and it was indeed a nightmare.
When I left the country, I didn’t intend on this experience.
 I did not expect to miss my connect flight.
I did not expect to be escorted out of the airport without a plan.
I did not expect to be in the hands of immoral individuals.
 I’m quite sure with their ill intentions they didn’t expect to be where they currently are. Life isn’t always fair and karma wasn’t finished with these man in any matter.
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  • cover
  • chapters
    • Reflections
    • Phases >
      • Cycles
    • India Files >
      • Emails
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    • Poetry
  • Connect