If I knew back then what I knew now... it would be a much shorter and less interesting life. We learn through experience, not being given the answers.
Leaving 2017 and the crippling semester that followed behind, I have encountered some magical realizations. My exploration of the colorful New Orleans lived up to the hype, even in December. My transformation to evolve into the ultimate form of myself is long term but progressive. While I’m putting a pause on my higher education for the semester, I’m not lacking in things to be learned.
These things being noted in the book, I try to wake each day in happiness. In between my vacation time I worked, hard, as a crooked smiling waitress pretending to enjoy seeing the same cheap customers of the baby boomer demographic subtly insult my character all day. The days became so bleak, grey, and skin peeling, I didn’t complain when the new schedule for the week detailed I had 5 days off. While it was off-putting – “how could they not want their best waitress working more than 15 hours this week?” – and well, I do need the money, I’d enjoy a bit of hermit crabbing before this job becomes my life for the semester. Thus, having a week of uninterrupted time to create my own meaningless plans.
Monday, no direction of where I wanted to be by nightfall and no obligation to be anywhere but in my full-sized bed. I got high, I watched movies, I took long naps, and I got even higher. By Wednesday, I was spoiled rotten with my unobligated bliss, I was also sick by the end of the weekend, so I milked it to excuse my laziness. There was no purpose, main idea, or mindfulness of accomplishments and that’s embarrassing (slightly.) More than slightly, since the big reveal of 2018 on New Year’s, many have had tunnel vision for making their dreams a reality.
Friends and strangers are fed up with their own buffoonery and allowance of fuckery into their lives. The people seem to be making a stand and sticking to their promises of being supportive/uplifting friends, bystanders that stand up, and people of purpose. Among this sea of positivity, I felt guilty for indulging in stagnate behavior. So, I got off my deteriorating ass and kick started my goals for the semester. I start with writing everything down and be reasonable with what I want to accomplish. I already had been halfway in to conjuring up my first book, I just needed to stay on a rotating schedule of writing and editing. The worst thing about me is staying focused. I can run the marathon but never finish it if my mind and body are not both in agreeance, you get what I’m saying?
I want to become a yogi, so I completed the necessary research on yoga and particularly which one I’d like to engage in, Vinyasa. Vinyasa, is a flowing style of yoga that appears relaxing but is just as intense as Tae Bo in your living room. Yoga is a discipline and a challenge of your strengths physically and mentally. It taught me about things I thought were true like: I am flexible, fit, and have balance. Judging by the first couple days of Vinyasa I understood that was entirely a lie. This wasn’t about just becoming a yogi but training my physical body to be healthy so in addition to fitness is health. The thing about me, my metabolism is equivalent to a thousand burning suns so eating a lot is a crucial. Eating MEALS, 3x a day, which are in the healthy realm assist in the upkeep of a better body. Those being only a few missions to complete, I was content.
Contentment won’t get me milestones or learn me lessons, hard work will. If I can take away anything from 2017 is that to get the grades, sail across the country, and achieve enlightenment I must genuinely desire for better. Do you understand what I am saying? I will never be better if there is not better effort. Make your claims, set your goals, and be better. Say it aloud to give you motivation, practice it every day to achieve.