The first quarter moon signified turning your hopes and dreams into action. Applying what you have learned. Being present with what is ahead of you. I found comfort in being told ‘no’, humbly accepting it as my fate. Although my heart and mind were bursting at their nerves with ideas, they had no place in reality. There had to be more to my story than this repetitive cycle of living for monetary value. There had to be something more loving than in the empty shells of people that called themselves my company.
Mornings after are always anomalous.
The sun now peaking its glow, equally bright and comforting, just enough to make me feel care-free like I had bathed in the sacred river and exalted all the grime and sin I carried.
It was not that simple. I said before this was not magic or witchcraft, just the flow of nature and the calculation of science. Affirmation is nothing without action. Your words mean nothing without the energy and purpose behind them. I washed myself of the past, the scars, the mental poisons and toxicities ailing my heart, mind, and soul. I made a vow to open myself to healing, learning, and loving all that are willing to receive it.
Seconds by seconds, to minutes, stacking into hours, it weighed.
The unsettling feeling sitting in my belly bulged. Worn down and out was my soul.
Expressionless in the faces of coworkers and friends, yet full of emotions, doubts, and peculiar thought. In regard to social circumstances, I fell exhausted.
Pitted brown eyes, I could not define happiness for self-assurance, but could someone tell me how heavy is the moon tonight?